Video: Punch Drunk Love

Ivan had seen all of those bumper stickers that read, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty” and had only taken them half to heart: the “random” and “senseless” half.

Rejected Things: Rejected Mitt Romney Campaign Slogans

Mitt Romney: The kind of leader that is always either posing for the cover of a pizza box, playing that game where you try to get someone to look through a hole that you make with your fingers so that you can punch them in the arm, or giving a handjob to a tall, invisible man. The kind of leader who, on the flipside of that coin, is rarely happy about being interrupted doing any one of those things and will shoot you a look that says as much. And, you can’t help but feel a little stupid because all you were trying to do is let him know that his tomato soup is ready.  Jerk.

Reason(s) Rejected: Too long, ultimately and indictment

Dearest Fanbase

Laziness? No. Viral Idol has a wedding to attend this weekend and, as such, Viral Idol’s posting schedule is all kinds of wacky and, of course, by wacky we mean to say non-existent. Please check back Monday-ish as the hangover and it’s productivity-retarding effects should have subsided by then.

Daily-ish Doodle #18

Soundtrack: Lima Charlie, “It’s So Easy To Be Creepy”

Video: Passing Time, Passing Wind

Rejected Things: Rejected Barak Obama Campaign Slogan

Barak Obama: The kind of leader who is not afraid to communicate complex ideas with just a look. Like, “Smell that? Yep, I farted. And, that smell is the smell of a brighter tomorrow – the pungent stink of hope: hope mixed with tuna fish. And, buttered popcorn too. Also, I had one of those little snack-sized servings of Mott’s applesauce. All that is mixed in there with hope. And, I firmly believe that hope accounts for the oak-y part of the overall smell: the overall smell, my fellow Americans, of freedom. It’s a smell I am quite proud of.”

Reason(s) Rejected: Too long, flatulence is not seen as “electable”

Politics and Cross Dressing Make Ugly Bedfellows

Click on the Vice President and be politically awakened in a way that you might not be comfortable with.

Video: Girls Gone Wild in the Streets

The videos on mycrazyvideos.com are not all ostensibly “crazy” – not at first glance, anyway. On the contrary, the vast majority of clips on mycrazyvideos.com require the viewer to see past a veneer of normalcy to a bubbling core of delusion that comprises the twisted armature upon which events masquerading as commonplace are draped. For example, in the clip below the untrained eye might only see two girls brawling in a cul-de-sac. But, the trained eye knows to keep staring, past the video – almost through the video – until, at long last, the image of a tugboat being driven by a cartoon dog appears. Then, the trained eye watches as the cartoon dog slowly turns to address it and implores in a sickly whisper, “Kill.  Kill!”

Video: Man’s Best Friend is Sharks Worst Nightmare

Buck didn’t know exactly what the word “neuter” meant but he sensed that it was a very bad thing. He based this on the way Jenny would look at him with a face full of anguish every time the man in the white coat mentioned it. And, it only came up when she took him to see the man in the white coat. At first Jenny seemed to be against this thing called, “neuter” but the more the man spoke, the more he could see her defenses cracking. It made buck nervous. So, the following week when they took their trip to the Florida Keys and went sport fishing, Buck was on a mission to endear himself at any cost.

Dearest Fanbase

Late night. Late, late night. So sorry. No new post as of 6:00 pm – 6:00 pm! For the love of Pete, I will rectify this – after a nap. Yes, a nap. Stay tuned…